{"id":14599,"date":"2026-04-18T19:30:22","date_gmt":"2026-04-18T19:30:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=14599"},"modified":"2026-04-18T19:30:22","modified_gmt":"2026-04-18T19:30:22","slug":"70-year-old-widow-wants-to-marry-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=14599","title":{"rendered":"70-year-old widow wants to marry again."},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-start=\"63\" data-end=\"179\">A 70-year-old widow placed an ad: \u201cHusband wanted\u2014must be my age, not beat me, not cheat, and still be good in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"181\" data-end=\"228\">Next day, a man with no arms or legs showed up.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"230\" data-end=\"433\">\u201cNo legs\u2014you can\u2019t run around,\u201d she said.<br data-start=\"271\" data-end=\"274\" \/>\u201cExactly,\u201d he smiled.<br data-start=\"295\" data-end=\"298\" \/>\u201cNo arms\u2014you can\u2019t beat me.\u201d<br data-start=\"326\" data-end=\"329\" \/>\u201cRight again.\u201d<br data-start=\"343\" data-end=\"346\" \/>She paused: \u201cAre you still good in bed?\u201d<br data-start=\"386\" data-end=\"389\" \/>He grinned: \u201cI rang the doorbell, didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>A 70-year-old widow placed an ad: \u201cHusband wanted\u2014must be my age, not beat me, not cheat, and still be good in bed.\u201d Next day, a <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=14599\" title=\"70-year-old widow wants to marry again.\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14600,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14599"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14601,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14599\/revisions\/14601"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}