{"id":16028,"date":"2026-05-06T12:04:21","date_gmt":"2026-05-06T12:04:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=16028"},"modified":"2026-05-06T12:04:21","modified_gmt":"2026-05-06T12:04:21","slug":"a-blonde-and-a-brunette-were-in-an-elevator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=16028","title":{"rendered":"A blonde and a brunette were in an elevator"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A blonde and a brunette ride an elevator with a handsome man who has dandruff. After he leaves, the brunette says he needs Head &amp; Shoulders\u2014the blonde asks, \u201cHow do you give shoulders?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A woman survives a heart attack and is told she has decades left, so she gets many cosmetic surgeries\u2014but dies right after. God says He didn\u2019t recognize her.<\/p>\n<p>A man asks God about time and money; God says a billion years is a second and a billion dollars a penny\u2014so the man asks for a penny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>A blonde and a brunette ride an elevator with a handsome man who has dandruff. After he leaves, the brunette says he needs Head &amp; <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=16028\" title=\"A blonde and a brunette were in an elevator\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16029,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16028","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16028"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16028\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16030,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16028\/revisions\/16030"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/16029"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}