So when I finally held a positive pregnancy test in my trembling hand, I didn\u2019t even bother planning some cute announcement.<\/p>\n
I ran into the bedroom at six in the morning and woke Bennett by shoving the test in front of his face.<\/p>\n
For several seconds, he just stared at it.<\/p>\n
Then he sat up so quickly he nearly knocked his lamp over.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs this real?\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed through my tears. \u201cUnless three tests are lying to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
He pulled me into his arms so hard I had to remind him I could still breathe.<\/p>\n
For the next few weeks, Bennett seemed happier than I had seen him in years. He looked at cribs before we had even chosen a doctor. He sent me lists of baby names during his lunch breaks and stood in the empty bedroom across the hall, measuring walls for furniture we didn\u2019t need yet.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I would tease him about getting ahead of himself.<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve waited long enough,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
That was the Bennett I knew.<\/p>\n
Then we went to one of my first ultrasounds.<\/p>\n
The doctor was moving the wand across my stomach when she suddenly stopped.<\/p>\n
I immediately tensed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n
She studied the screen for another moment before smiling.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Actually, I think you two are getting a little more than you expected.\u201d<\/p>\n
She turned the monitor slightly toward us.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are two heartbeats.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cTwo?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re having twins.\u201d<\/p>\n
I started crying before I could stop myself.<\/p>\n
After everything we\u2019d been through, there were two babies.<\/p>\n
I turned toward Bennett, already reaching for his hand.<\/p>\n
But he wasn\u2019t smiling.<\/p>\n
He was staring at the screen with a strange expression I couldn\u2019t read.<\/p>\n
\u201cBennett?\u201d<\/p>\n
He finally looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cTwins?\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut neither of our families has twins.\u201d<\/p>\n
She explained that twins didn\u2019t require an obvious family history and that sometimes they simply happened. I barely paid attention because I was still looking at my husband.<\/p>\n
The excitement had disappeared from his face.<\/p>\n
He hardly spoke during the drive home.<\/p>\n
At first, I thought he was overwhelmed.<\/p>\n
We had spent two years trying for one baby, and suddenly we were having two. That was a lot for anyone to process.<\/p>\n
But when we got home, Bennett didn\u2019t come inside right away. He sat in the driver\u2019s seat with both hands resting on the steering wheel.<\/p>\n
I waited.<\/p>\n
Finally, he said, \u201cNo one in my family has ever had twins.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe already talked about this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd no one in yours has either.\u201d<\/p>\n
I frowned. \u201cSo?\u201d<\/p>\n
He turned toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo how does this happen?\u201d<\/p>\n
I almost laughed because the question sounded ridiculous.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt happens because I\u2019m pregnant with twins, Bennett. You heard the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I\u2019m asking.\u201d<\/p>\n
Something in his voice made my stomach tighten.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you asking?\u201d<\/p>\n
He stared at me for several seconds before saying the words that would change the rest of my pregnancy.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you\u2019ve been with someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n
I honestly believed I had misheard him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know what else I\u2019m supposed to think.\u201d<\/p>\n
I opened the car door and got out because suddenly I couldn\u2019t stand sitting beside him.<\/p>\n
He followed me inside.<\/p>\n
\u201cLaurel, listen\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. You listen. We spent almost two years trying to have a baby. You watched me cry every month. You came to appointments with me. You know exactly where I\u2019ve been and who I\u2019ve been with.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know what you\u2019re saying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat I\u2019m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n
I turned around.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rubbed his hands over his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just don\u2019t understand how we\u2019re suddenly having twins.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd somehow the answer you\u2019ve chosen is that I cheated on you?\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
That silence hurt more than anything he could have said.<\/p>\n
From that day on, Bennett became someone I barely recognized.<\/p>\n
He still drove me to appointments. He still carried groceries when they became too heavy. If I woke up with leg cramps, he brought me water.<\/p>\n
To anyone watching us from the outside, he probably still looked like a caring husband.<\/p>\n
But something important between us was gone.<\/p>\n
At appointments, he rarely asked about the babies anymore.<\/p>\n
When the doctor played their heartbeats, I would look at him and find him staring at the floor.<\/p>\n
Once, after we left the clinic, he asked, \u201cIs there anything you want to tell me before they get here?\u201d<\/p>\n
I stopped walking.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve asked me that four times.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just want to give you the chance.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe chance to confess to something I didn\u2019t do?\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked away.<\/p>\n
Eventually, he told his mother.<\/p>\n
That made everything worse.<\/p>\n
His mother, Diane, came to our house one Sunday and spent most of lunch studying me as though the truth might be written across my forehead.<\/p>\n
Finally, she said, \u201cA DNA test would settle everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at Bennett.<\/p>\n
He continued cutting his food.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s my mother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I\u2019m your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n
Diane sighed. \u201cNo one is accusing you of anything, Laurel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour son has been accusing me for three months.\u201d<\/p>\n
She glanced at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen take the test. If you\u2019re telling the truth, you have nothing to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n
That sentence stayed with me.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re telling the truth.<\/p>\n
Even my own mother wasn\u2019t much better. She believed me, or at least she said she did, but she kept telling me the test would make Bennett \u201cfeel better.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nobody seemed to understand what I needed.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t want a piece of paper to force my husband to trust me.<\/p>\n
I wanted him to trust me because he knew me.<\/p>\n
By the final month of my pregnancy, Bennett had started working late more often.<\/p>\n
Some nights, I ate dinner alone with my hands resting on my enormous stomach while the twins pushed against my ribs.<\/p>\n
I stopped asking when he would be home.<\/p>\n
It hurt less that way.<\/p>\n
Then, three weeks before my due date, I woke just after midnight with a contraction strong enough to make me grab the edge of the mattress.<\/p>\n
By three in the morning, we were on our way to the hospital.<\/p>\n
For those next several hours, something changed in Bennett.<\/p>\n
Maybe fear pushed everything else aside.<\/p>\n
He stayed beside me.<\/p>\n
He held my hand through every contraction, brought ice chips, wiped my forehead, and kept telling me I was doing well.<\/p>\n
For a few hours, I almost forgot the months behind us.<\/p>\n
I let myself remember the man who had sat beside me after every negative pregnancy test.<\/p>\n
Then our first daughter was born.<\/p>\n
Her cry filled the room, and I started sobbing.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh my God.\u201d<\/p>\n
The nurse placed her against my chest for a moment before the doctors turned their attention back to the second baby.<\/p>\n
Seven minutes later, another cry joined the first.<\/p>\n
Two daughters.<\/p>\n
Two healthy little girls.<\/p>\n
I was exhausted, shaking, and happier than I could explain.<\/p>\n
A nurse brought the second baby closer, and I looked at Bennett.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome see them.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stepped toward the bed.<\/p>\n
Then he stopped.<\/p>\n
His face changed so suddenly that I noticed it even through my exhaustion.<\/p>\n
Both girls had dark hair. Their eyes were slightly almond-shaped, and there was something about their tiny features that looked different from either Bennett or me.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t think much of it.<\/p>\n
Newborns changed every day.<\/p>\n
Bennett apparently thought differently.<\/p>\n
He stared at one daughter, then the other.<\/p>\n
And the first words he said after the birth of our children were:<\/p>\n
\u201cThose babies aren\u2019t mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room went silent.<\/p>\n
Even one of the nurses turned toward him.<\/p>\n
I stared at my husband, sure that I had misunderstood.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did you say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook at them, Laurel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am looking at them.\u201d<\/p>\n
My voice cracked.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re our daughters.\u201d<\/p>\n
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