{"id":21771,"date":"2026-10-05T19:18:35","date_gmt":"2026-10-05T19:18:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=21771"},"modified":"2026-10-05T19:18:35","modified_gmt":"2026-10-05T19:18:35","slug":"a-blonde-nun-was-praying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=21771","title":{"rendered":"A blonde nun was praying"},"content":{"rendered":"

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa\u2019s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.<\/p>\n

Finally the little girl asks, \u201cGrandpa, did God make you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

\u201cHe sure did honey, a long time ago,\u201d replies her grandpa.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, did God make me?\u201d asks the little girl.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

\u201cYes, He did, and that wasn\u2019t too long ago,\u201d answers her grandpa.<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cBoy,\u201d says the little girl, \u201cHe\u2019s sure doing a lot better job these days isn\u2019t He?\u201d<\/p>\n

================================<\/h3>\n

A man is trying to understand the nature of God, time, and the Universe. He asks God,<\/h2>\n

\u201cHow long is a billion years to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

God says, \u201cA billion years is like a second to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

The man asks, \u201cWell, how much is a billion dollars to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

God says, \u201cA billion dollars is like a penny to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

So the man says, \u201cGod, can I have a penny?\u201d<\/p>\n

And God replies, \u201cIn a sec.\u201d<\/p>\n

================================<\/h3>\n

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic primary school for lunch.<\/h2>\n

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.<\/p>\n

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, \u201cTake only one. God is watching.\u201d<\/p>\n

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.<\/p>\n

One child whispered to another, \u201cHey, we can take all we want. God is watching the apples.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

================================<\/h3>\n

Not long after his marriage, Joe and his father met for lunch.<\/h2>\n

\u201cWell, son,\u201d asked the father, \u201chow is married life treating you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot very well, I\u2019m afraid,\u201d sighed Joe. \u201cIt seems I married a nun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA nun?\u201d his father questioned.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d moaned Joe. \u201cNone in the morning, none at night, and none at all unless I beg!\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe\u2019s father nodded knowingly and slapped his boy on the back a couple of times.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t we all get together for dinner tonight and have a nice talk?\u201d<\/p>\n

Joe smiled, \u201cSay, Dad, that\u2019s a great idea!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d replied the father, \u201cI\u2019ll call home and tell the Mother Superior to set two extra plates.\u201d<\/p>\n

================================<\/h3>\n

There once was a husband and wife who were unable to have children.<\/h2>\n

After consulting everyone who would listen to their problem, they were still unsatisfied. Finally, they consulted their family priest.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy children,\u201d the priest began, \u201cThe Lord will listen to your prayers, and I am sure that you will be blessed with children shortly. In fact, I am planning an extended stay in Rome, and while I\u2019m visiting the Vatican, I will light a candle for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Father, thank you!\u201d said the couple.<\/p>\n

Before leaving, the priest turned and said, \u201cI am sure everything will work out just fine for you. My stay in Rome will be for quite some time\u201315 years. But when I return, I will be sure to visit you.\u201d<\/p>\n

And so, 15 years came and went, and the priest returned to the States.<\/p>\n

While resting on his porch one mid-summer morning, he remembered the promise of paying a visit that he had made 15 years ago. So he made his way to their home, and upon arriving at the residence of the couple who\u2019d sought his counsel years earlier, he rang the doorbell.<\/p>\n

Sounds of crying and screaming children filled the air! Overjoyed by the thought that their prayers had been answered, he entered the house. More than a DOZEN children filled the house from top to bottom! In the midst of all the chaos stood the wife.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy dear,\u201d the priest said, \u201cyour prayers have been answered! And where is your husband? I wish to congratulate him, too, on your miracle!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cHe just left for Rome,\u201d she said in a very desperate tone.<\/p>\n

\u201cRome? Why did he go to Rome?\u201d asked the priest.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo blow out that candle you lit!\u201d<\/p>\n

================================<\/h3>\n

Teacher fell asleep in class and Little Johnny walked up to him.<\/h2>\n

Little Johnny, \u201cTeacher are you sleeping in class?\u201d<\/p>\n

Teacher, \u201cNo I am not sleeping in class.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Johnny, \u201cWhat were you doing sir?\u201d<\/p>\n

Teacher, \u201cI was talking to God.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next day Little Johnny fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him\u2026<\/p>\n

Teacher, \u201cJohnny, you are sleeping in my class.\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Johnny, \u201cNo not me sir, I am not sleeping.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angry teacher, \u201cWhat were you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Johnny, \u201cI was talking to God.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angry teacher, \u201cWhat did He say?\u201d<\/p>\n

Little Johnny, \u201cGod said He never spoke to you yesterday\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

================================<\/h3>\n

90-year-old George went for his annual physical.<\/h2>\n

All of his tests came back with normal results.<\/p>\n

Dr. Darns said, \u201cGeorge, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?\u201d<\/p>\n

George replied, \u201cGod and me are tight.<\/strong> He knows I have poor eyesight, so he\u2019s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I\u2019m done.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWow,\u201d commented Dr. Darnes, \u201cthat\u2019s incredible!\u201d<\/p>\n

A little later in the day Dr. Darnes called George\u2019s wife.<\/p>\n

\u201cThelma,\u201d he said, \u201cGeorge is just fine. Physically he\u2019s great. But I had to call because I\u2019m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?\u201d<\/p>\n

Thelma exclaimed, \u201cThat old fool! He\u2019s been peeing in the refrigerator again!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

================================<\/h3>\n

A blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her,<\/h2>\n

\u201cMy daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love and your prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to commend you and to grant you anything you wish.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Father, I am perfectly happy. I do what I love. The Church supports me. I am content. I need nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere must be something you would like,\u201d said God.<\/p>\n

Well, there is one thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cName it,\u201d said God. She frowned.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s those blonde jokes. They\u2019re so demeaning, not just to me but to blondes everywhere. Can you stop them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cConsider it done,\u201d said God.<\/p>\n

\u201cBlonde jokes are hereby stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But isn\u2019t there something I could do just for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, there\u2019s one thing. But it\u2019s really small and not worth Your time,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cTell me, please!\u201d said God.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the M&M\u2019s,\u201d she said. \u201cThey\u2019re so hard to peel!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa\u2019s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21772,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21771"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21771\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21773,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21771\/revisions\/21773"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/21772"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}