{"id":21798,"date":"2026-10-06T07:25:25","date_gmt":"2026-10-06T07:25:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=21798"},"modified":"2026-10-06T07:25:25","modified_gmt":"2026-10-06T07:25:25","slug":"forrest-gump-dies-and-goes-to-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=21798","title":{"rendered":"Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven."},"content":{"rendered":"

Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.<\/h2>\n
\n
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He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, \u201cWell, Forrest, it\u2019s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we\u2019ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Forrest responds, \u201cIt sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain\u2019t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.\u201d<\/p>\n

St. Peter goes on, \u201cYes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions:
\nFirst: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
\nSecond: How many seconds are there in a year?
\nThird: What is God\u2019s first name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

Forrest leaves to think the questions over.<\/p>\n

He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up and says, \u201cNow that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Forrest says, \u201cWell, the first one \u2013 which two days in the week begin with the letter \u201cT\u201d? Shucks, that one\u2019s easy. That\u2019d be Today and Tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

The Saint\u2019s eyes open wide, and he exclaims, \u201cForrest, that\u2019s not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn\u2019t specify, so I\u2019ll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?\u201d asks St. Peter.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many seconds in a year?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow that one\u2019s harder,\u201d says Forrest, \u201cbut I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Confounded, St. Peter says, \u201cTwelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven\u2019s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?\u201d<\/p>\n

Forrest says, \u201cShucks, there\u2019s gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . .\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHold it, \u201d interrupts St. Peter. \u201cI see where you\u2019re going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn\u2019t quite what I had in mind\u2026..but I\u2019ll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let\u2019s go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God\u2019s first name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d Forrest replied, \u201cit\u2019s Andy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Andy?!\u201d exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. \u201cOk, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShucks, that was the easiest one of all,\u201d Forrest replied. \u201cI learnt it from the song. . . . \u201cANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . .\u201d<\/p>\n

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said, \u201cRun, Forrest, run.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21799,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21798","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21798"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21798\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21800,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21798\/revisions\/21800"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/21799"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21798"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21798"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21798"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}