The first joke gives a drunk driver an unusual final test: use green, pink, and yellow in one sentence. His answer? \u201cMy phone went green, and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day, officer!\u201d Another driver takes a different approach, offering a medical excuse for every requested test. He claims asthma rules out the breathalyzer, hemophilia prevents a blood sample, and diabetes makes a urine sample impossible. Finally, the officer asks him to walk a white line. His excuses collapse into honesty: \u201cBecause I\u2019m too drunk.\u201d<\/p>\n
At a downtown restaurant, a massive troublemaker boasts that he could beat both the responding officer and the world heavyweight champion. Rather than challenge his strength, the officer challenges his pride: surely an escape artist like him can defeat handcuffs? After several minutes of straining, the man admits he cannot. The officer\u2019s response neatly seals the joke: \u201cIn that case, you\u2019re under arrest.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"