At 36 Weeks Pregnant, I Struggled with the Household Tasks. My Mother-in-Law Tried to Teach My Unmotivated Husband a Lesson, but He Gained Nothing from It. When I Spotted the Suitcases by Our Door, I Realized It Was My Turn to Teach Him One.**<\/p>\n
I once thought that having a large family would mean I would never feel lonely.<\/p>\n
Having grown up without parents, I had always envisioned a big family. By the age of thirty, I was married, expecting a baby, and had a mother-in-law who treated me like her own child.<\/p>\n
I believed I had everything I desired.<\/p>\n
However, at thirty-six weeks pregnant, I felt more isolated than ever.<\/p>\n
My back hurt, my ankles were swollen, and despite both of us working full-time, all household responsibilities fell to me. I had also been going to prenatal classes alone. Daniel always had another task to complete and never even inquired about what we learned.<\/p>\n
Whenever I brought up the classes, he would say, \u201cYou take care of the baby matters. I\u2019ll manage the bills.\u201d<\/p>\n
One evening, a sock fell behind our dryer.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaniel, could you get that for me?\u201d<\/p>\n
My husband barely looked up from his phone.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re pregnant, Maren. You haven\u2019t lost your arms.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t bend that far.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen leave it until later.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDaniel, you\u2019re right there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I\u2019ve been working all day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo have I.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rolled his eyes. \u201cAre we seriously arguing about a sock? Just leave it!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine, Daniel. Forget it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He sighed and returned his gaze to his phone.<\/p>\n
\u201cBesides, I\u2019m already having a terrible day. My older brother Michael just received another promotion.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s wonderful, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure. Meanwhile, I\u2019m still trying to secure one decent project.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry you\u2019re having a tough day, Daniel. But I\u2019m worn out too.\u201d<\/p>\n
He tossed his phone onto the couch. \u201cAnd instead of supporting me, you\u2019re making a fuss over a silly sock.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI merely asked for a bit of assistance, Daniel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I have more significant worries.\u201d<\/p>\n
That was when I began to cry.<\/p>\n
He stared at me. \u201cWow. Hormones are something else.\u201d<\/p>\n
But it wasn\u2019t the hormones. It was the realization that I felt utterly alone while standing just three feet away from my husband.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
On Saturday, his mother finally witnessed what I had been enduring.<\/p>\n
Della arrived around eleven, just as I was struggling with a laundry basket.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaniel, can you take this upstairs?\u201d<\/p>\n
He glanced over from the couch. \u201cWhat exactly have you done all morning?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBreakfast, dishes, towels, and two loads of laundry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why isn\u2019t anything completed?\u201d<\/p>\n
Before I could respond, Della took the basket.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you making her prove she\u2019s tired?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, you raised three kids. You never acted this helpless.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her expression hardened. \u201cYou remember being cared for. You don\u2019t recall what it cost me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel chuckled. \u201cCome on. Pregnancy isn\u2019t a disability.\u201d<\/p>\n
Della set down the basket, grabbed her purse, and left.<\/p>\n
Fifteen minutes later, she returned with a watermelon and two cantaloupes.<\/p>\n
Daniel blinked. \u201cAre we having a barbecue?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. You\u2019re having a baby.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
She held up the watermelon. \u201cYou think carrying extra weight is easy? Let\u2019s find out.\u201d<\/p>\n
She strapped the watermelon to his stomach and the cantaloupes to his chest.<\/p>\n
\u201cStill think you\u2019re unique?\u201d he asked me, posing.<\/p>\n
Della handed him the laundry basket. \u201cUpstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n
For two hours, she had him clean, change bed linens, and wash dishes.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, I can\u2019t reach the bottom dishwasher rack!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cInteresting.\u201d<\/p>\n
When he dropped a sock beside the dryer, he stared at it.<\/p>\n
I waited for a joke. None came.<\/p>\n
By lunchtime, he was sweating. \u201cI\u2019m taking this off. I need a break.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo did she,\u201d Della replied.<\/p>\n
Daniel looked at me, but I continued eating.<\/p>\n
That evening, he hardly spoke.<\/p>\n
I hoped he had finally learned something. Unfortunately, the next morning proved otherwise.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The next morning, a zipper stirred me awake.<\/p>\n
Daniel was kneeling beside two open suitcases filled with women\u2019s clothing and Della\u2019s photographs.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re leaving?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? No!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why are your mother\u2019s things here?\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled proudly. \u201cI figured it all out. Mom\u2019s moving in for a few months.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou did what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019ll take care of cooking, cleaning, and assist you with the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll concentrate on earning money. Everyone benefits.\u201d<\/p>\n
He hadn\u2019t learned a thing. But I was about to teach him a lesson he wouldn\u2019t forget.<\/p>\n
Then Della stepped out of the guest bathroom.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood morning, sweetheart.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDella, you\u2019re really moving in?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what Daniel asked.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSee?\u201d Daniel said. \u201cProblem solved.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at him. \u201cCould you give us a moment?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure. I\u2019ll check my emails.\u201d<\/p>\n
The moment he left, I turned to Della.<\/p>\n
\u201cYesterday meant nothing to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled. \u201cOh, honey. That\u2019s precisely why I agreed to come.\u201d<\/p>\n
I blinked. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you think I came here to be his housekeeper?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what he expects.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy husband thought earning money was enough too. He missed birthdays, school plays, so much of our lives. I wish I\u2019d challenged him sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat must have been difficult, Della. I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
She squeezed my hand. \u201cI won\u2019t let Daniel make the same mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI already feel like a single mother. What if he never changes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen you\u2019ll have a place with me. With or without my son.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019d truly do that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course. You\u2019re family.\u201d<\/p>\n
I glanced toward the hallway.<\/p>\n
Then something struck me.<\/p>\n
\u201cDella, I think I have an idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her eyes lit up. \u201cWill we need another watermelon?\u201d<\/p>\n
I chuckled for the first time in weeks.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. This time, I have something much better.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel thought the watermelon had been embarrassing.<\/p>\n
But what I had planned for Saturday would make that little lesson seem like child\u2019s play.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
By Monday, Della was watching me organize supplies in the guest room.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat should I tell my sons, Michael and Nathan?\u201d Della inquired.<\/p>\n
\u201cFamily dinner Saturday. Tell them to bring their wives.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re frighteningly organized.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBefore I married Daniel, I used to plan parties and celebrations for my friends. They even called me the queen of surprises.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just got tired.\u201d<\/p>\n
Della sighed. \u201cDaniel wasn\u2019t always like this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. He used to notice when I needed assistance. Then he started competing with his brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael and Nathan had successful careers and families. Daniel was eager to catch up.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I got pregnant, he took on extra projects and began boasting about providing for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNeither brother asked him to compete.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. But Saturday, he might finally get it.\u201d<\/p>\n
That evening, I mentioned Saturday\u2019s dinner.<\/p>\n
Daniel immediately perked up. \u201cMichael and Nathan are coming?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWith their wives.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFantastic! I can tell them how we resolved the baby situation.\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled. \u201cOh, you\u2019ll definitely have something to share.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Saturday came.<\/p>\n
Michael arrived with his wife, Rachel, while Nathan brought Claire. Della had assisted me in preparing dinner, and Daniel seemed thrilled to have an audience.<\/p>\n
Halfway through the meal, he raised his glass.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve finally figured out how to balance everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael smiled. \u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMom\u2019s staying here. She\u2019ll manage the house, Maren will take care of the baby, and I can focus on providing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rachel frowned. \u201cDoes Maren get any time off?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMom\u2019s helping.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHelping whom?\u201d Claire asked.<\/p>\n
Before he could respond, I stood up. \u201cActually, I prepared something special.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel beamed. \u201cThere\u2019s my old Maren! I was wondering when you\u2019d start being fun again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right. I\u2019m finally rediscovering myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
I met his gaze.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow it\u2019s your turn to become the man I married.\u201d<\/p>\n
His smile faded.<\/p>\n
I opened the guest-room door.<\/p>\n
Inside stood everything I had prepared for the challenge:<\/p>\n
\u2013 A portable crib
\n\u2013 A baby doll
\n\u2013 Diapers
\n\u2013 Baby clothes
\n\u2013 Laundry baskets
\n\u2013 A few other surprises<\/p>\n
\u201cWelcome, everyone, to our family competition: Welcome to Fatherhood!\u201d<\/p>\n
Nathan laughed. \u201cAre we playing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOnly Daniel.\u201d<\/p>\n
My husband stared. \u201cYou want to embarrass me in front of my brothers?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. You\u2019ve spent months proving to everyone how successful you are. Tonight, I\u2019d like you to demonstrate something to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhich is?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat I can rely on you as our child\u2019s father.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is absurd.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen don\u2019t participate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut understand this.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room fell silent.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you can\u2019t show me you\u2019re willing to take responsibility, I\u2019ll pack my things and stay with Della. I\u2019m not raising our baby alone while pretending I have a partner.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel\u2019s expression changed. \u201cYou\u2019re threatening to leave me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m telling you what I can no longer tolerate.\u201d<\/p>\n
Della nodded. \u201cMy door is open to her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael leaned forward. \u201cDaniel, what\u2019s happening?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s exaggerating!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAm I?\u201d I asked. \u201cTell them who cooks. Who cleans. Who prepares everything for the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel remained silent.<\/p>\n
Della crossed her arms. \u201cYou told us household work was easy. Surely a little competition won\u2019t intimidate you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Finally, Daniel exhaled. \u201cFine. Let\u2019s get this over with.\u201d<\/p>\n
I picked up my clipboard. \u201cWonderful. Round one!\u201d<\/p>\n
I handed Daniel the doll.<\/p>\n
\u201cCongratulations! Your baby needs a diaper change.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSeriously? That\u2019s it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Thirty seconds later, Michael burst out laughing.<\/p>\n
\u201cBuddy, that\u2019s backward.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel glared. \u201cI know!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why is the fastening underneath her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019M FIXING IT!\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael stood. \u201cHere, let me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNope,\u201d I interrupted. \u201cHe said he could handle everything by himself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eventually, Daniel secured the diaper.<\/p>\n
\u201cDone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExcellent. Now prepare a bottle, fold those baby clothes, and sort the laundry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll at once?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re a capable man.\u201d<\/p>\n
He grabbed the tiny clothes. \u201cWhy are there so many socks?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBabies have feet.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nathan nearly choked with laughter.<\/p>\n
Daniel searched for a matching sock. \u201cWhere did the blue one go?\u201d<\/p>\n
Claire pointed. \u201cYour pocket.\u201d<\/p>\n
He pulled out three socks. \u201cHow did those get there?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExcellent question. Now your bottle.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan someone assist?\u201d<\/p>\n
I tilted my head. \u201cYou\u2019re not helpless, Daniel. You haven\u2019t lost your arms.\u201d<\/p>\n
His expression shifted.<\/p>\n
Everyone laughed, but I saw recognition cross his face.<\/p>\n
He remembered.<\/p>\n
A few minutes later, he finished.<\/p>\n
\u201cFinally.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNow comes round two.\u201d<\/p>\n
His shoulders drooped.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s MORE?\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
Changing a diaper was one thing. But Daniel still had no idea what I had saved for the final round.<\/p>\n
I led him into the kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve just finished work. The baby\u2019s crying, dinner isn\u2019t ready, and there\u2019s laundry to fold.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel surveyed everything. \u201cEasy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBegin.\u201d<\/p>\n
He started heating pasta sauce while folding towels.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour baby\u2019s crying,\u201d I announced.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan she wait?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s a newborn.\u201d<\/p>\n
He grabbed the doll. \u201cOkay, sweetheart. Daddy\u2019s here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour dinner\u2019s burning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? Already?\u201d<\/p>\n
He rushed toward the stove. \u201cCan someone hold her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNope. You\u2019re doing this on your own.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow am I supposed to do everything at once?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood question.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nathan glanced at Claire. \u201cSuddenly I understand why you ask me to watch the kids.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOnly suddenly?\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n
Everyone laughed except Daniel.<\/p>\n
He turned off the burner and sat down with the doll.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay. Baby first. Everything else can wait.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nodded. \u201cNow imagine doing this every evening after working all day.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked drained.<\/p>\n
I picked up my clipboard. \u201cReady for the final round?\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel groaned.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s MORE?\u201d<\/p>\n
I placed two chairs before him.<\/p>\n
On one sat his work laptop.<\/p>\n
On the other were tiny baby clothes and our wedding photograph.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat am I choosing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot work versus family. Two different concepts of fatherhood.\u201d<\/p>\n
I pointed to the laptop.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne suggests that money makes you a good father, even when you\u2019re never around.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then the photograph.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe other indicates that providing matters, but so does being present.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel rubbed his forehead. \u201cWithout my income, we can\u2019t give our child a good life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI work too, Daniel. Yet somehow, that doesn\u2019t excuse me from everything else.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked away.<\/p>\n
\u201cRemember those prenatal classes I kept urging you to attend?\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel shifted uncomfortably. \u201cI was busy working.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you even know what we covered?\u201d<\/p>\n
He opened his mouth, then closed it.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what worries me, Daniel. Our baby is almost here, and you\u2019ve left me to prepare for everything alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I was doing my part,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve spent years trying to prove to your brothers that you\u2019re successful. But I\u2019m the one having your baby, and I\u2019m still waiting for you to show I can count on you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael cleared his throat. \u201cDaniel, you never had to compete with us.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cEasy for you to say. You and Nathan have everything figured out. Great careers, big houses, happy families. You have no idea what it\u2019s like trying to catch up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael exchanged a glance with Rachel. \u201cActually, I do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel frowned. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter our first child was born, Rachel nearly left me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room fell silent. \u201cYou never told me that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I was ashamed. I worked late, missed appointments, and convinced myself that paying the bills made me a good husband.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rachel looked at Daniel. \u201cI spent months pleading with him to come home before our daughter was asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael nodded. \u201cAnd one night, I came home to find Rachel packing a suitcase.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel stared at his brother. \u201cBut you two always seemed so happy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe are now,\u201d Michael said. \u201cBecause I finally realized that my family needed more than my paycheck.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel crossed his arms. \u201cI\u2019m not abandoning anyone. I\u2019m working hard for my family.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen did you last ask Maren what she needed?\u201d Michael inquired.<\/p>\n
Daniel opened his mouth, then stopped.<\/p>\n
He looked at me. \u201cHave I really made you feel that alone?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMost days, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Della spoke softly. \u201cYour father worked constantly too. He missed so much of your childhood.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel stared at our wedding photograph.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I was doing the right thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBy leaving everything to me?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
He rubbed his face. \u201cGod, Maren. I messed this up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why did you keep doing it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I\u2019m scared.\u201d<\/p>\n
I sat across from him. \u201cOf what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou both had houses and kids before I even got married. I thought our baby deserved everything yours have.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nathan shook his head. \u201cDaniel, none of us had everything figured out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel turned toward Della. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Mom. I treated you like hired help.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then he faced me.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I\u2019m sorry, Maren. Especially for that ridiculous sock.\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed through tears. \u201cIt was never about the sock.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I\u2019ll rearrange my projects, share the chores, and take those parenting classes with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPromises aren\u2019t enough anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded. \u201cThen I\u2019ll prove it.\u201d<\/p>\n
I squeezed his hand. \u201cOkay. You have a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Four days later, Daniel was already sharing the chores. He even turned down an extra project to spend more time preparing for our baby.<\/p>\n
I had spent my life fearing I would lose the family I had always dreamed of.<\/p>\n
But now I understood that a real family wasn\u2019t about perfection \u2014 it was about being there for one another.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"