<\/p>\n
After 14 hours in the ER dealing with bedpans, vomit, and a guy who sat on a remote \u201cby accident,\u201d I just wanted a shower, frozen pizza, and silence. Instead, I stood in the cold, staring at my front door\u2014my key wouldn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n
Turns out, someone had jammed a toothpick in the lock.<\/p>\n
I called my brother, Danny, who arrived in sweatpants and a T-shirt that said \u201cI PAUSED MY GAME TO BE HERE.\u201d He got the splinter out and said, \u201cThis was no accident.\u201d<\/p>\n
The next night, it happened again. Danny brought a security camera. We caught the culprit: Josh<\/strong>, my ex\u2014the one who \u201cworked late\u201d while wining and dining his \u201cwork friend\u201d Amber.<\/p>\n His brilliant plan? Sabotage my lock so I\u2019d call him for help and we\u2019d reconnect.<\/p>\n Instead, I called Connor<\/strong>\u2014my tattooed, motorcycle-riding, ex-fling turned best friend. The next night, Connor waited inside wearing my pink bathrobe<\/strong>, and when Josh returned, toothpick in hand, he opened the door mid-sabotage.<\/p>\n \u201cYou must be the toothpick fairy,\u201d Connor said, half-naked and holding a wrench.<\/p>\n Josh ran like a scared rabbit. When I confronted him, he stammered some nonsense about rekindling things. I didn\u2019t buy it\u2014and didn\u2019t call the cops either. I posted the video to TikTok.<\/p>\n It went viral<\/strong>\u2014millions of views. I even sent it to his boss (Amber\u2019s dad). Josh is now \u201cpursuing other opportunities.\u201d<\/p>\n Two weeks later, I changed the locks for closure. Connor brought pizza to celebrate \u201cThe Great Toothpick Revenge.\u201d<\/p>\n Sometimes, revenge doesn\u2019t need a hammer. Just a camera, a bathrobe… and a viral video.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\n