{"id":6899,"date":"2026-01-11T14:09:28","date_gmt":"2026-01-11T14:09:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=6899"},"modified":"2026-01-11T14:09:28","modified_gmt":"2026-01-11T14:09:28","slug":"the-happily-married-couple","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/?p=6899","title":{"rendered":"The Happily Married Couple"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you f*rt in bed?<\/strong>
If this story doesn\u2019t make you laugh until you cry, let me know\u2014I\u2019ll pray for you.<\/p>\n

This is the story of a happily married couple whose only problem was the husband\u2019s\u00a0legendary<\/em>\u00a0morning f*rts. Every single day, he\u2019d wake up, let one rip, and the noise alone would jolt his wife awake. The smell? Eye-watering. Breath-stealing.<\/p>\n

Every morning she begged him to stop.
Every morning he said it was \u201cnatural\u201d and he \u201ccouldn\u2019t help it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She warned him for years. Told him to see a doctor. Even joked that one day he\u2019d f*rt his guts out.<\/p>\n

He laughed. The f*rting continued.<\/p>\n

Then came Christmas morning.<\/p>\n

As she was preparing the turkey, staring at the bowl of neck, liver, gizzard, and assorted innards, a\u00a0brilliantly evil<\/em>\u00a0idea struck her.<\/p>\n

She carried the bowl upstairs.
Her husband was sound asleep.<\/p>\n

She gently pulled back the covers, stretched the waistband of his underwear\u2026 and dumped the turkey guts inside.<\/p>\n

A while later, she heard the familiar morning trumpet\u2014
followed by a\u00a0blood-curdling scream<\/strong>\u00a0and frantic footsteps racing to the bathroom.<\/p>\n

She collapsed laughing. Years of torture finally repaid.<\/p>\n

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs wearing blood-stained underwear, pale as a ghost.<\/p>\n

Trying not to laugh, she asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n

He said,
\u201cHoney\u2026 you were right. You warned me for years.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d he said,
\u201cToday I finally f*rted my guts out\u2026 but by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers\u2014
I think I got most of them back in.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Do you f*rt in bed?If this story doesn\u2019t make you laugh until you cry, let me know\u2014I\u2019ll pray for you. This is the story of […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6899"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6899\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6900,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6899\/revisions\/6900"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepatswalk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}