In the quiet halls of Saint Jude\u2019s Parish, Father Dan noticed something unusual. On his rounds at the convent, he kept seeing Sister Ann, a devoted and demure woman whose figure seemed to be changing.<\/p>\n
\u201cSister Ann,\u201d he asked one afternoon, eyes flicking to her tight habit, \u201care you\u2026 putting on a little holiday weight?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, no, Father,\u201d she replied serenely. \u201cJust a little gas.\u201d<\/p>\n
Months passed, and Sister Ann\u2019s habit stretched ever tighter. \u201cThat seems like quite an ailment,\u201d Father Dan remarked.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a bit of gas,\u201d she whispered, cheeks pink.<\/p>\n
The mystery ended when Father Dan saw her in the garden, wheeling a navy-blue baby carriage. Inside was a rosy-cheeked infant. Father Dan peered at the child and quipped, \u201cWell, that is certainly one cute little fart.\u201d<\/p>\n
Humor, like faith, appears in unexpected places. Later that week, Father Dan visited Mrs. Smith, an 85-year-old parishioner. Sitting at her lace-covered table, he polished off a bowl of almonds.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh dear,\u201d he said, checking his watch. \u201cI\u2019ve eaten them all! I\u2019ll bring a fresh bag next week.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mrs. Smith chuckled. \u201cNo bother, Father. I can\u2019t chew them anyway\u2014just lick the chocolate and put them back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Another day, Father Dan joined a Minister and Rabbi for a hike. They found a hidden lake and decided to swim, leaving their clothes on a log. A group of ladies appeared on the trail, and panic struck. The Minister and Father Dan covered their midsections; the Rabbi covered his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy your face?\u201d asked the Minister.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn my congregation, it\u2019s my face they\u2019d recognize,\u201d the Rabbi replied.<\/p>\n
That evening, Father Dan attended a dinner with a young couple meeting traditional parents. The nervous fianc\u00e9e\u2019s stomach betrayed her; a small puff escaped. The father-in-law barked at the dog under the table: \u201cRocky!\u201d Relieved, she relaxed\u2014until a louder blast echoed.<\/p>\n
The father-in-law jumped, pointing at the dog: \u201cRocky! Get out of there fast! She\u2019s gonna sh*t on you!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"