I (36F) have been divorced from my ex-husband, Mark (38M), for four years. We share an eight-year-old daughter, Lily, who mainly lives with me. Our divorce agreement requires him to pay $850 a month in child support and allows visitation every other weekend.<\/p>\n
Mark has always been difficult. During our marriage, he spent impulsively while I balanced the budget\u2014and nothing has changed.<\/p>\n
He remarried last year to Jessica (29F), who enjoys a glamorous lifestyle. Last month, Mark called me, casually asking to \u201cwork something out\u201d with child support. Naturally, I thought something serious had happened.<\/p>\n
Instead, he wanted to pause payments for five months<\/strong> so he could fund a lavish European vacation with his new wife. I couldn\u2019t believe it.<\/p>\n On his next visitation weekend, instead of letting him see Lily, I left a large suitcase at his door.<\/p>\n On top was a note: Inside, I packed:<\/p>\n Five months\u2019 worth of non-perishable groceries<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Toiletries (shampoo, soap, toothpaste)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n School supplies and clothes<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Basic medicines<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Receipts for her activities<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Utility bills and a detailed monthly expense breakdown<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Mark\u2019s expression cycled through shock, anger, embarrassment, confusion, and guilt<\/strong>. Then he started calling and texting:<\/p>\n Mark: \u201cWhere\u2019s Lily? What is all this?\u201d He called me \u201cchildish\u201d and \u201cspiteful.\u201d Jessica even cried about hotel deposits in Paris, Rome, and Barcelona.<\/p>\n Mark had learned\u2014maybe too late\u2014that parenthood isn\u2019t optional.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Since you\u2019d rather \u2018pause\u2019 being a father to go on vacation, here are five months\u2019 worth of supplies Lily would need. You wanted to skip supporting her, so now you can handle these directly.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n
Me: \u201cThat\u2019s what your child support pays for. Lily\u2019s at my sister\u2019s this weekend.\u201d
Mark: \u201cYou can\u2019t do this! It\u2019s my visitation time!\u201d
Me: \u201cSupporting your daughter comes first. Your vacation is not more important.\u201d<\/p>\n