A Nervous Priest, Vodka, and a Hilarious Lesson
A new priest’s first Mass was a disaster. Nervous, he asked the monsignor for advice. The tip? Keep a glass of vodka on the altar and sip if you shake or stammer. 
The next Sunday, he followed it… and delivered a lively, theatrical sermon. Afterward, the monsignor left a note with some corrections:
-
Sip, don’t gulp.
-
10 Commandments, not 12. 12 disciples, not 10.
-
Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
-
Jacob wagered his donkey, didn’t “bet his rear.”
-
No “Big T” cross or “Mary with the Cherry.”
-
Grace before meals isn’t “Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.”
Sometimes, a little less “Holy Spirit” makes a sermon both accurate and funny.