A mom tells her son to say he’s 5 so he can ride the bus for free. When the driver asks his age, he says “5.” Asked when he’ll be 6, the boy replies, “When I get off the bus.”
On a bus, a baby won’t breastfeed. The mom jokes she’ll give it to the man next to her if it doesn’t. After hearing this for 20 minutes, the man sighs, “Please decide—I missed my stop six stops ago.”
Two men chat loudly on a bus. A woman overhears what sounds like a graphic story and scolds them. One replies, “Relax, I’m just explaining how to spell ‘Mississippi.’”
A man calls his son saying he’s divorcing after 45 years. The son and daughter panic and rush home to stop it. After hanging up, the father tells his wife, “Perfect—they’re coming for Christmas and paying their own way.”