After 14 hours in the ER dealing with bedpans, vomit, and a guy who sat on a remote “by accident,” I just wanted a shower, frozen pizza, and silence. Instead, I stood in the cold, staring at my front door—my key wouldn’t work.
Turns out, someone had jammed a toothpick in the lock.
I called my brother, Danny, who arrived in sweatpants and a T-shirt that said “I PAUSED MY GAME TO BE HERE.” He got the splinter out and said, “This was no accident.”
The next night, it happened again. Danny brought a security camera. We caught the culprit: Josh, my ex—the one who “worked late” while wining and dining his “work friend” Amber.
His brilliant plan? Sabotage my lock so I’d call him for help and we’d reconnect.
Instead, I called Connor—my tattooed, motorcycle-riding, ex-fling turned best friend. The next night, Connor waited inside wearing my pink bathrobe, and when Josh returned, toothpick in hand, he opened the door mid-sabotage.
“You must be the toothpick fairy,” Connor said, half-naked and holding a wrench.
Josh ran like a scared rabbit. When I confronted him, he stammered some nonsense about rekindling things. I didn’t buy it—and didn’t call the cops either. I posted the video to TikTok.
It went viral—millions of views. I even sent it to his boss (Amber’s dad). Josh is now “pursuing other opportunities.”
Two weeks later, I changed the locks for closure. Connor brought pizza to celebrate “The Great Toothpick Revenge.”
Sometimes, revenge doesn’t need a hammer. Just a camera, a bathrobe… and a viral video.