A 34-year-old man is married to his 35-year-old, high‑earning wife (about $160K/year). They’ve been together eight years; for the past five, she’s been the primary breadwinner. He works irregular freelance gigs that bring in $800–1,000 per month and helps around the house and emotionally.
Her parents, now in their mid‑60s, are aging and need financial and practical support. She’s paid for home repairs, medication, even a car, and took time off to care for them. Meanwhile, his retired, modest‑means parents have started feeling neglected—his mom asked if his wife loved her grandchildren less.
He suggested she should support his parents similarly—roof repairs or a vacation—but she set a firm boundary. She told him to “step up” and take responsibility for his family, and plans to separate their finances: she handles her money, he handles his.
He feels betrayed, believing marriage means sharing everything—money, responsibilities, and support for both families. She counters that equality means equal contribution, and she refuses to keep funding his sense of guilt.
He insists he’s not lazy, just still “finding his path,” and promises he’ll remember how she treated him once he succeeds. He’s asking: “Am I wrong to expect equal support for my parents? Isn’t marriage about being a team?”