Raising kids while caring for aging parents is pushing many families to the limit. Between school drop‑offs, work, and emergencies, stress is mounting—often with no help or pay. Burnout is prompting tough discussions about what “family support” really means.
One reader, Nancy, shared why she wouldn’t care for her mother without compensation:
Nancy’s letter
I’m a 35‑year‑old single mom of three (ages 7, 3, and 6 months). My 74‑year‑old mother lives with us rent‑free and used to help—until a serious fall left her inactive. She didn’t want a nursing home, so I offered home care—but only if she paid me for my time and effort.
Her response: “I’m your mom—you owe me!”
That night, my oldest son called hysterical: a nursing home van was taking her away—and a moving truck had cleared out half the house. She’d even taken my baby’s crib, claiming it was her gift. She said I was “throwing her away” because I couldn’t care for her.
I’m not a nurse—I’m already overwhelmed. I can’t bear the physical, emotional, or financial burden alone. I love my mom, but love doesn’t pay bills or relieve stress. Nothing in life is free.
Am I wrong to ask her to help financially? — Nancy