My boyfriend Ryan, 29 like me, surprised me on our third anniversary by celebrating a promotion I didn’t get—complete with a cake that read “Congrats on Your Promotion!”—instead of proposing. He meant it as a pick-me-up, but publicly announcing something I hadn’t achieved felt humiliating, not supportive. I paid my share and left.
Three days later, after ignoring his texts, I threw my own “celebration” for him: black-and-gold balloons, a cake reading “Congrats on Becoming Bald! Manifesting It Early!” His friends laughed and one called him out for being cruel. Ryan stormed off, saying it was over.
Surprisingly, one of his friends, Zach, stayed and praised me: “That was one of the best comebacks I’ve ever seen.” He even asked me out, joking, “Depends—you gonna throw a party if I go bald?” I laughed and replied, “Only if you deserve it.” Finally, I felt like I had the last word.