The story you shared highlights some deeply troubling dynamics in the relationship between the OP and her fiancé, Ryan. Ryan’s views on “purity” and his insistence on controlling OP’s choice of wedding dress reflect outdated, patriarchal values that can be damaging in modern relationships. It’s understandable that these revelations would lead OP to question their compatibility and shared values, which are foundational for a healthy marriage.
Ending the engagement seems like a wise decision under the circumstances. Ryan’s behavior—his insistence on policing her choices, involving his mother in their conflict, and applying a double standard to “purity”—revealed a lack of respect for OP’s autonomy and an unwillingness to grow past his insecurities. A successful marriage requires mutual trust, respect, and equality, and Ryan’s actions suggested significant gaps in these areas.
The OP’s courage to stand firm in her values and prioritize her well-being is commendable. While breaking off an engagement is undoubtedly difficult, it’s better to make that choice before the wedding than to enter into a marriage built on shaky foundations.
As for the suggestion to wear red on her first date after the breakup—what a poetic way to reclaim her confidence and individuality! If nothing else, this story is a reminder of the importance of choosing a partner who respects and supports your choices rather than attempting to impose their own insecurities on you.
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