I (36F) have been divorced from my ex-husband, Mark (38M), for four years. We share an eight-year-old daughter, Lily, who mainly lives with me. Our divorce agreement requires him to pay $850 a month in child support and allows visitation every other weekend.
Mark has always been difficult. During our marriage, he spent impulsively while I balanced the budget—and nothing has changed.
He remarried last year to Jessica (29F), who enjoys a glamorous lifestyle. Last month, Mark called me, casually asking to “work something out” with child support. Naturally, I thought something serious had happened.
Instead, he wanted to pause payments for five months so he could fund a lavish European vacation with his new wife. I couldn’t believe it.
On his next visitation weekend, instead of letting him see Lily, I left a large suitcase at his door.
On top was a note:
“Since you’d rather ‘pause’ being a father to go on vacation, here are five months’ worth of supplies Lily would need. You wanted to skip supporting her, so now you can handle these directly.”
Inside, I packed:
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Five months’ worth of non-perishable groceries
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Toiletries (shampoo, soap, toothpaste)
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School supplies and clothes
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Basic medicines
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Receipts for her activities
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Utility bills and a detailed monthly expense breakdown
Mark’s expression cycled through shock, anger, embarrassment, confusion, and guilt. Then he started calling and texting:
Mark: “Where’s Lily? What is all this?”
Me: “That’s what your child support pays for. Lily’s at my sister’s this weekend.”
Mark: “You can’t do this! It’s my visitation time!”
Me: “Supporting your daughter comes first. Your vacation is not more important.”
He called me “childish” and “spiteful.” Jessica even cried about hotel deposits in Paris, Rome, and Barcelona.
Mark had learned—maybe too late—that parenthood isn’t optional.